"Do you expect me to talk?" "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to spell."

As the evil villain (as opposed to the good villain) stroked his evil cat, he said with an evil smile: “So, Mr. Bond, it is very simple. All you have to do to save the world is … (dramatic music) … spell the word parallel!” MWA HA HA HA! (That’s an evil laugh.)

Well, if I were playing the character of Mr. Bond, the world would have ended in a tragic misspelling accident.

The lesson? Know your weaknesses and know how to address them.

There are some words and grammar issues that we’ll always have to look up in a dictionary or stylebook. There are many words I just can’t spell on my own – parallel top among them. As for grammar, lie vs. lay gets me every time; that page in my AP Stylebook is well worn.

You don’t have to be a great speller or grammarian to be a good writer. But you do need to know how to correct or deal with your flaws. What do you need to have at your side?

-         A dictionary: Webster’s New World College Dictionary for you Associated Press Style advocates and Merriam Webster for you Chicago Manual of Style people.

-        A stylebook: The AP Stylebook is my first choice because I have a journalistic background. The Chicago Manual of Style is probably the most popular and covers a much wider range of writing genres.

-        An atlas: needed for geographical names

-        A calculator: Writers and editors are notorious for being horrible at math.

There are other items that can help, but the four I mentioned will prevent a lot of mistakes from happening – as long as you use them. They might even stop an evil genius or two.

Question: What's the No. 1 entry on my list of useless words and phrases?

Answer: any words that follow the phrase "Needless to say" and "It goes without saying." And, of course, those two phrases themselves, by definition, are useless too.

The trouble with "that" and "which": Essential clause vs. nonessential clause

When writers confuse that and which, essential/nonessential clauses are usually involved.

Essential and nonessential clauses give additional information about a word or phrase. The difference between them is an essential clause cannot be removed without changing the intended meaning of the sentence, thus making it necessary – or essential - to the sentence.

Here are the rules to remember:

ESSENTIAL CLAUSE =                                      NONESSENTIAL CLAUSE =

Starts with that                                              Starts with which

Not set off by commas                                    Set off by commas

Necessary for intended                                   Not necessary for intended

    meaning of sentence                                       meaning of sentence

Let’s try some examples:

Pit bulls that are too aggressive should be illegal to own.

Pit bulls, which are too aggressive, should be illegal to own.

            In the first sentence, the writer is saying a specific set of dogs - pit bulls “that are too aggressive” – should be illegal. If the “that are too aggressive” clause is removed, the intended meaning of the sentence is changed to target all pit bulls. So, the phrase “that are too aggressive” is essential to the meaning of the sentence.

            In the second sentence, the writer is saying all pit bulls should be illegal. Removing the “which are too aggressive” clause doesn’t change the meaning of the sentence. So, the phrase “which are too aggressive” is not essential to the sentence.

The key that starts the car has a square head.

The key, which starts the car, has a square head.

         In the first sentence, the writer is saying a specific key – the one used to start the car – has a square head. If the essential clause “that starts the car” is removed, then the intended meaning is changed to refer to a key in general.

            In the second sentence, the writer is referring to a general key, which just happens to start the car.

Incorrect: The loaf of bread, that is a day old, can be fed to the birds.

Incorrect: The loaf of bread which is a day old can be fed to the birds.

Correct: The loaf of bread that is a day old can be fed to the birds.

Correct: The loaf of bread, which is a day old, can be fed to the birds.

Questioning the questioners

Here’s an article teaser from MSN.com a few weeks ago:

On June 27, a 7-year-old girl named Heaven became another grim statistic in Chicago’s skyrocketing murder rate. Can anything stop the violence?

When I first read the question, my editing instincts kicked in immediately and I thought to myself, “Well, of course nothing can be done to stop the violence, not completely. Violence has existed as long as man has.”

Limit the violence? Reduce the violence? Sure. Those are acceptable words and questions.

Two lessons:

1.     Words, such as “stop” in this case, have meanings. Don’t rely on “close enough” or “the readers will get what I mean” or “it was meant to be a rhetorical question.” Write or say exactly what you mean and you won’t have to worry if your readers will “get it.”

2.     Don’t ask meaningless questions, such as questions to which everyone knows the answers.

Welcome to Whoville, or is it Whomville?

One of the most confusing grammar topics is when to use “who” and when to use “whom.” How do we decide? Follow one of these two rules:

RULE NO. 1 – Turn and Substitute. Turn the phrase/sentence around and substitute the appropriate pronoun for who/whom. The key is:

Who = he, she, they

Whom = him, her, them

RULE NO. 2 – Do the Action, Receive the Action

“Who” = the person is DOING THE ACTION

“Whom” = the person is RECEIVING THE ACTION

Let’s try some examples using Rule No. 1:

Example 1 - An Atlanta man whom police said entered a counseling center with a gun waived his preliminary hearing.

Is whom correct, or should we use who?

Turn the phrase around and substitute a pronoun: “Police said (he or him) entered a center.” Of course, the pronoun should be he so we should use who in the original sentence.

Example 2 - The woman who Bob wants to date is married.

Turn the sentence around and substitute: “Bob wants to date (she or her).” The proper word is her, so use whom in the original sentence.

Example 3 – The raid resulted in the arrest of two men whom the police chief described as “major drug dealers.”

Turn the phrase around and substitute: “The chief described (they or them) as major drug dealers.” Them is correct, so we should use whom. The original sentence is correct.

Now, let’s try our same examples using Rule No. 2, do action/receive action: 

          Example 1 – An Atlanta man whom police said entered a counseling center with a gun waived his preliminary hearing.

Whom represents the Atlanta man, and the Atlanta man is entering the center. He’s DOING THE ACTION, so use who in the original sentence.

Example 2 - The woman who Bob wants to date is married.

Who represents the woman, and the woman is the object of Bob’s interests. She’s RECEIVING his interest, so use whom in the original sentence.

 

Example 3 - The raid resulted in the arrest of two men whom the police chief described as “major drug dealers.”

Whom represents the men, and the men are RECEIVING THE ACTION of being described, so whom in the original sentence is correct.

Now, try a couple on your own using Rule No. 1 or Rule No. 2.

1.   Smith, whom police said was speeding and drunk, was convicted of vehicular homicide.

2.   The man who gave me the package said it is fragile.

Know your audience: a lesson from Little League

When I was 8 years old, I played for the Blue Angels rookie baseball team. You know the type – a bunch of boys paying more attention to their bubble gum than the ball.

During one game, we had just given up eight runs in one inning. We finally got the third out and headed back to the dugout. Our assistant coach, a man in his early 20s, looked down disgustedly at his scorebook and said in a sharp tone, “They scored eight runs – all unearned!”

I remember thinking: “Unearned? Looks like they earned them to me.”

If the coach thought we knew what “unearned run” meant, he was greatly mistaken. I could tell that my teammates had no clue what the term meant – nor did they care; most were more interested in going to the water fountain or in who was up to bat next.

The lesson? Know your audience. Sure, the coach was using a baseball term with baseball players, and that sounds appropriate. But, he didn’t consider what kind of players we were: little kids with the attention spans of kittens.

Always keep in mind – and assume – that although you understand what you’re writing, your audience might not. Beware of using jargon, technical terms and $10 words. It’s fine to use some of these if you know your audience is comfortable with the subject matter and the lingo, such as an audience of stock brokers listening to a stock expert. But be careful with more general audiences of newspapers, magazines and websites.

Keep things simple. The rule I was taught in journalism school and during my 25 years of working in newspapers is to write at a level an eighth-grader can understand.

So remember, expecting your readers or listeners, especially general audiences, to understand and care about your complex word usage is wishful thinking. Using high-minded words and coming off sounding highly intelligent means nothing if your audience has tuned you out.

Editing tips: Are you a writer who is in a self-editing rut? Here are 3 ways to shake things up

Many of you are writers or businesspeople who write and edit your own documents. One of the worst things you can do as a writer is to have only you as your editor - just like a doctor having himself as a patient, or a lawyer representing herself. However, this situation can be unavoidable, especially in small businesses.

As a writer, I become too familiar with my style of writing and, as an editor, I become too familiar with the styles of writers who are my clients. With those familiarities come a false sense of security, and with that false sense of security comes overlooked mistakes. I have found my brain often reads incorrect writing correctly – automatically filling in missing words, correcting typos and adjusting punctuation as I’m reading without me realizing it. So, how do you solve the problems of familiarity, security and automatic brain corrections? Shake things up: Get your brain unfamiliar with your writing style. You can do this by reading your sentences in reverse order, not using your spell-checker as a crutch and almost completely ignoring your grammar-checker.

1.     Try reading your sentences in reverse order. Start at the bottom of your document and read your last sentence first, and work your way to the top. I have found this breaks up my comfort zone and gives my brain something fresh to read. Mistakes I blew right past during my first standard edit pop up – seemingly out of nowhere – leaving me to wonder “how did I miss that?” Also, reading in reverse order is a great way to make sure the flow of your paragraphs is correct and that you’re making your points in the proper order.

2.     Don’t use your spell-checker as a crutch. The spell-checker is a tool, not a substitute for using your eyes and reading your copy carefully. A spell-checker won’t catch misused homonyms or misused words spelled correctly.

3.     Most grammar-checking programs that come with computers are often incorrect and, therefore, nearly worthless. I can’t say the grammar-checker on my computer has never helped me, but it’s rare; and, most of the time it provides advice that is just flat-out incorrect.

We all have our self-editing routines, and we have them because they work (or did work). However, when others are regularly finding mistakes you didn’t catch in your writing, it’s time for a change – but it’s tough to break old habits isn’t it? So, introduce one change every so often. Try reading in reverse order, or making your spell-check the first thing you do instead of the last, and then do it again after you have made changes. Also, you could try adding a final checklist containing your most common errors. Whatever you decide, shaking up your routine should result in finding more errors in your work.

PSU child sex scandal: sad topic but clear, basic writing

McClatchy news service presents a clear, simple-to-read account of the PSU Freeh report. It doesn't get into the details, but it summarizes the broad strokes nicely. I found the following paragraph to be the most succinct:

The report said that top officials, including Paterno, Spanier, Curley and Schultz, made a decision to conceal what they knew about Sandusky’s behavior in an effort to protect the reputation of Penn State and its football program.

Read more here: http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2012/07/12/155909/louis-freeh-issues-blistering.html#storylink=cpy

Who said "that"?

From my experience, the word "that" is the most overused word. It simply isn't needed most of the time. Although "that" doesn't do any harm, deleting it and other unneeded words can remove clutter from your writing. I'll bet once you start paying attention to this word you'll be surprised how often you use it needlessly. Here are some examples.

1.    She said that the family closed the business.

2.    Smith said that opening another restaurant is a possibility.

3.    Jones says in the suit that he was warned that he would be forced to resign or be fired.

4.    The suit alleges that the defendants conspired to get Jones fired.

5.    Police said Smith reported that his 2006 Toyota stolen.

Oh, the verbosity! Edit unneeded words

Removing the clutter makes your writing and speech clearer and smoother. Many words that can be removed are not incorrect, they just aren't needed. The following words and phrases almost always can be taken out of a sentence in whole or in part without any harm because they are wordy or redundant:

-      that

-      very

-      only

-      just

-      yet

-      truly

-      really

-      actually, actual

-      indeed

-      still

-      already

-      earlier

-      later

-      and also – “And” is enough.

-      is currently – “Is” is enough

-      is now, are now – “Is/are” are enough.

-      Is still, are still – “Is/are” are enough

-      will now – “Will” is enough.

-      will eventually – “Will” is enough.

-      both he and she – “And” is enough

-      meanwhile – often used as a transition word. It’s weak.

-      in the future, in the past – Context of sentence usually makes these unnecessary.

-      according to – Use “said.”

-      got under way – Use “began.”

-      as early as, as late as – Context of sentence makes these unnecessary.

-      along with – “Along” not needed.

-      right now – “Now” is enough.

-      will be held at – Use “will be at.”

-      not as yet – Use “not yet.”

-      for his part, he said – “For his part” is unnecessary.

-      his own, its own – “Own” not needed.

-      no chance whatsoever – “Whatsoever” not needed.

-      has a record of 10-2 - Use “is 10-2.”

-      at the corner of – “At” is enough.

-      sought after – “Sought” is enough.

-      closed up, closed down – “Closed” is enough.

-      auctioned off – “Auctioned” is enough.

-      sold off - “Sold” is enough.

-      first ever – “First” is always first. “Ever” not needed.

-      including the following: – “Including” is enough.

-      are as follows – “Are” is enough.

-      either or – “Or” is enough.

-      has already been – “Has been” is enough.

-      past experience, past history – “Past” is redundant.